Glue

Well you've heard the story of the Vaseline, but my two year old's antics don't stop there. You see I know most of the people at the ER by name.

At the beginning of this summer all three of my girls were playing with friends in my neighbors back yard.The day was running smooth, I really never say anything bad coming. But it came, it really came. I walked out back to check on the girls and tell them they only had a few more minutes to play. As I went to go inside i felt a small hand on my thigh. It was my two year old. She was staring up at me with something in her mouth with grass and dirt stuck to it. After closer examination i yelled for my husband to get outside quick. She was having trouble breathing and whatever was under the grass and dirt was her from opening her mouth. My husband arrived outside and after seeing his daughters condition immediately told me to get her things together to go to the ER. Well I was getting everything ready to leave for the hospital my husband pried what he could out of our daughters mouth. He handed the chunk of whatever to me as he carried her to the car.She wasn't crying at all just smiling now that she was able to breath easier. On the way there I cleared what grass and dirt I could away to find a tube of liquid nail with tiny teeth marks in it. My panic grew at this point.
At the ER they rushed her back and began examining her and calling poison control. My baby did not want any of this she was ready to play again.
By the end we found out that she was going to be just fine. Liquid nail is non-toxic, not that i recommend eating it ever. And that the caked on bits on her teeth, tongue, and lips would dissolve eventually. Thank god. It took over a week before all the glue was gone from her teeth and face.
Oh, the Joy and wonder of toddler hood.

Give me some Merry

You know I've been a mother for 1/3 of my life, yes i know I'm old. But the point I'm trying to make is people assume things about me. You see now-a-days when i speak with another adult who doesn't have children i don't think they get me, or my humor. I'm not a stupid person, housewife was not my only option just the one i chose. My children have taught me that simpler is better, and that laughter is the greatest thing there is. Of course i tend to laugh at people when they get to serious about themselves. I wish only that people would stop trying so hard to be the smartest, or the most world impacting, and toke a look around. Look around and laugh, enjoy the small pleasures, be merry. I think once a day you should be subjected to a horrible knock knock joke; one so horrible it makes absolutely no sense. You'll laugh too, you'll have to because it will be just that silly a thing. You may not laugh right away but one day it will get you and you'll see what i see. Even that can be beautiful. Because someone wanted to hear you laugh so badly they stuck with it. I enjoy little things like that, but that does not mean i can't grasp the intense political, philosophical conversations that are being held. I'd just rather smile. I'd rather be merry.

Vaseline

Alright, I'm not sure what to write about tonight but am feeling the need to write. I guess I'll share some of the silly story's from my girls.

Tonight I'll tell you about the Vaseline. Yes, I said Vaseline.

My two year old was having a rough day, she was not agreeable at all from the time she woke up that morning. She had bit her sister, trashed the living room and pulled the cat across the room by his tail. I had had enough I was desperate to get something down around the house. So i put her in her room with the gate up in the door frame. I had gotten, or at least thought I had gotten, anything that could be messed up or harmful out. I went back down stairs and started picking up the living room and cleaning the kitchen. I could hear my baby laughing and playing; everything seemed fine, and calm. I had even sent her older sisters out to play. When she became very quiet for more then a few minutes I started getting a bit nervous. My mother sense was tingling,(its a bit faulty at times, or it would have tingled sooner). I marched upstairs to check and to my horror all was not so fine. I had Left the Vaseline on the dresser and she had climbed up and gotten it. Apparently she was very concerned with her skins dryness, because she had striped down naked, (no diaper either), and coated herself hair to toes in a thick slimy layer of the stuff. To top of her adventure baby wash didn't work and I was out of Dawn. I had to bring her to my friends house ask for dawn and help holding her as I washed her. Its now a funny memory but at the time had me crying, and embarrassed. My sweet little girl stayed happy the whole time though slipping out of my fingers and trying to streak away. In the end it took twelve baths over five days to get it all out of her hair, using Dawn of course. it reminded me of those Dawn commercials where they wash the seagulls. Ah childhood, always so much fun.

Mothers are women too

When we first become mothers we swear we'll be the hot mom, we'll take time to just be a women. But the older our kids get the more we lose site of that women, we lose ourselves in the role of mother, taxi, cook. Doing our hair goes from salons, dyes, multiple brushes and product to a quick hair tie. The all functional ponytail or bun. Then theres our make up routine that goes from hours of skin care lotions, scrubs, creams, and unlimited time of perfecting; to if we're lucky some lotion and lip gloss, maybe even Little powder to cover our age. We forget to shave our legs or maybe just rush through so quickly we miss spots. Shavings very hard when you have children rushing into the bathroom to tattle on each other barely noticing your trying to shower. But all that aside we are still women; we need sometimes to hear we're beautiful more often then other women. We need pampering at times to remind us that we are still the women we once were that she didn't disappear for good.Don't pass us off as just moms, we are more, so much more. We have a beauty that goes beyond physical. We are fierce and passionate in all that we do. We are strong and nurturing, we are what a women is meant to be; everything. We make ourselves into everything for those we love, which takes outrages amounts of strength at times but we do it without being asked. We don't ask for much in return, but just because we don't ask doesn't mean you shouldn't give it.

Lend a Hand

On the craziest of days what makes you smile?

Is it your two year old laugh? A certain person? Does your partner make you smile when they walk through the door? Do you have a pet or a friend who can always make you feel loved?

I don't always have the best of days, some days just make me feel like I'm out of control, stuck in the deep end unable to even yell for help. But there are things that light up those dark places, people who can see me struggling to stay afloat and are there in an instant to rescue me.Those people are my world my loves; God sent even.
Mothers, I think are very strong. We have a strength we gain when we become mothers, but we are made even stronger by our support system. The People around use who help us, who listen to us, and who are there just giving us love. A mother who feels loved can give so much more love in return to her family. There are so many mothers around us everyday, why not give them some support, lend a hand to a mother not just your own. You never know how much a small act of kindness can lighten her load.You may not see the result of what you've done, but her children and family will. Your show of love and compassion will be past on to them. Spread the love that's the point isn't it. Mothers need love too, so if you see one of us struggling then lend a hand show us you care.

laundry day

Laundry the torment that never ends. I cannot stand the task of folding and putting away clothing for more then just myself. My girls, at least the two oldest have been taught to fold and put away their own but their attention span's aren't very long: And so only half the basket ends up hung up or put away well the other half is shoved in the closet corner out of the line of sight. After they have hidden away the evidence to their satisfaction they return the empty basket to me and rush out to play with friends. This has been the pattern for a few years now and honestly i am not all together sure why i allow them to go out before i check their work. Instead I embarrass them in front of their friends as i drag them back in to get an ear full about responsibility and lying. Maybe its the hope that the last ear full sunk in and this time will be different the clothing will be properly but where it goes and i wont have to go hunt them down. And when i say properly I do not expect perfection at their age or really any other, i just want them to work on putting their things back in the right area not the closet floor. This is not my only problem with laundry. Why when i am washing clothing for my children do i constantly find folded recently washed clothing in the hamper? I'm sure I'm not the only mother who has noticed this magical transference of clean to dirty with out ever touching a body. When no one admits to being the maker of this magic I must only assume that there are evil spirited laundry fairies loose in my home. What else could it be? The pile grows even as I am washing, and i fear one day this horrid pile of dirty socks and underwear will reach out and drag me under. And because today is laundry day this is going to end here and i promise i will have more coming and more interesting topics to discuss. If you have any topics you would like my opinion on or just think it would be entertaining to read me ramble about leave a comment and i will write as on each in the next week. Remember as we all enjoy our weekends to get out and play with your children, your grandchildren and shower them with love its the best gift you can give.

Lets Ride

"In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children."
                                                                                           - Robert Charles Benchley

 When my children were under a year old traveling scared me. I dreaded it but we had to do it. My first, looking back on it, should have never made me scared of traveling, she was by far my calmest child. The worst she did on trips was spit up or have to be changed every one to two hours. My second girl was a bit more difficult and still can be. She was a tad more whinny and demanding. He would be hungry every thirty minutes and immediately have to be changed. Then there is my third who is now two and a half years old: She will scream "eat" "out" and "mama" over and over again for eleven hours straight. Most of our travel issues were solved with a PSP, DS, a toddle camera, and lunchboxes filled with various foods.Every child has a different way of handling travel just like every grown up does. I think people forget sometimes that every child is not the same. You can't plan there life out for them or relax just because its your second child.
My oldest who is now ten enjoys car trips, spending the majority of her time watching the scenery, or playing her PSP. My middle girl who is now six is occupied by her DS, but still wants to talk none stop and describe in detail the game shes playing. You would think that's not so bad but after eleven or more hours you just want quiet. It doesn't get much better when you add in the two year old who only wants to "WEE" if there is food involved. Lack of enough food to go the entire trip will send her into a fit.Each parent has to figure out what works for each of there children. Traveling can be a fun for the entire family as long as you remember your prep work is the key. Do not forget that each child is an individual so take the time to get to know your child and prepare accordingly. Yes, I know saying get to know your child may seem obvious, but to some parents it is not so. Don't bury your head in a parenting book and swear by every word. Parenting books are wonderful tools but until you know as much as you can about your child's thinking, their personality you wont know what works.

revive

As mothers we give up alot, not just our sanity but ourselves. Mothers give up there identities becoming just the care giver, the cook, the driver. For most of us we give up things we used to think were accentual, finding out their just frivolous in the big picture. Our children's needs and dreams take over our lives. Somewhere on this road our own dreams get forgotten.

"It is never to late -- in fiction or in life -- to revive."
                                                         -Nancy Thayer

For the sack of my girls i am taking a stand i am turning this car around and going to pick up my dreams again. I can be a good mother and have the something more that i need as an individual. I think it would make it easier for my girls to accomplish things they want if they see me fighting for what i want now. Mothers are guideposts to womanhood and so i need to show that there is more then just one side to that. A woman can be wild, adventurous, loving, nurturing, fierce. A woman is like the fazes of the moon ever changing and ever the same. So why only show your daughters the mother, show them the strong woman willing to go to the limits to make her dreams come true show them that its possible alleviate their fear of going after their own. I will revive my dreams it is never to late.

octopus

Alright, now i have a list miles long of topics to write on, but can't decide which is more suitable for this morning.  Lets see....

"Men have been trained in the importance of single-mindedness. Woman , on the whole , have not had the privilege of single-mindedness. Instead, woman have had to learn to be attentive to multiple demands; to think about more than one thing at a time. This skill is absolutely essential in the modern world."
                       -Mary Catherine Bateson

As mothers we have to multi task, we have to rush to feed the baby as it cries for milk well calming a child with a skinned knee, at the same time finding anothers programs on TV. If we think about it it seems difficult but to just do it all its instinctual, completely natural. If only i had been blessed with multiple arms like an octopus i could get so much more down; instead of juggling two or three things i could juggle eight or nine, (nine because i can use my feet and we'll only count those as one).
Let us take a moment here to think about what we all do to get through our days. Think about those days that make you just want to collapse down on to the bed at night and not move. How is it we as mothers we get through those days, to make it to the other side of bedtime, if not pure instinct. We do for our children as much as physically possible no matter how much it can make us appear as a street juggler to onlookers. So is this instinct really or a talent or maybe just a lesson we all learned subconsciously from our mothers. I don't remember reading in any of the numerous parenting books i have how to nurse a baby well dressing a six year old and starting a bath tub with my toe. Must all boil down to instinct, we do what we must to take care of our responsibilities, instinct goes a long long way in the realm of parenting. So is parenting 50% learned and 50% instinctual? opinions?

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
                                         -Mother Teresa
Despite all those times I have become irritable or frustrated and snapped at my children or said "no" to harshly, the words they remember most are I love you; I'm here for you. Its tough to remember all the wisdom, humor, and affection we've dispensed, fortunately, our children remember everything we say. They may forget at times or when their older but the Truth lies in there hearts they know that at the core we love them we only want the best for them, and so they forgive us when our words can be harsh. My girls I love you.

tears

Being a mother is hard work whether you stay home or go to work. I've done both and cannot tell you which is more difficult. There are days that the tears cannot be stopped the stress can hit down deep to the core, every small decision can effect the outcome of your child's life. Count to ten right, breath, stay calm what else do we have to do? The up side to being a working mother was always that i loved work i came home happy relaxed and could play with the girls with plenty of energy. Well working I had time to talk to other adults, in a sense refresh, this is not so all the time with working mothers. If you dislike your job, if it doesn't fulfill you ,doesn't give back to you, you come home upset distracted, and it passes on to your children. Every emotion passes on like a sponge, they absorb all our feelings. I made a decision a few years back to stay home. I miss working tremendously but it was a good decision, all though its harder to find things to keep me feeling relaxed, I've gotten to see my girls do amazing things. I've grown deeper in love with my family and all the silly little quirks they all have. Oh, but they can drive me to a point of insanity that I feel i could just fall into pieces and not be put back together. So which was better? (yes mom I'm gonna wright about you now, sorry, but it has to be done after talking with you about this yesterday i feel it important to clarify this). My mother worked; she worked hard too, she worked nights and had to stay awake for my sister and me when she came home. Her job sometimes made her miserable. But my mother worked hard at home also, she loved us and it showed she was an amazingly strong woman, still is. I'm sure there were times the stress brought tears to her eyes but I never saw, or don't remember seeing. What i do remember was her ability to make the most amazing pancakes, donuts and her ability to pull off partys that i have never been able to recreate. She had a talent for making simple things outstanding. I look back on all those days as a child up in Maine and yes i cry because i miss them. She made memories. She gave love and she is loved. Working didn't stop her from being a wonderful mother. She was and is a strong woman a woman intent on making the people in her life happy: A woman who feels sad when she can't give you everything you want; whether what you want is what you need or not. I stay home with my children now and not because its the only choice not because its the best choice for raising your children honestly i couldn't tell you which is best for raising then. Work or stay home? I think it depends heavily on the mother on her temperament and on the children. If you make good memories for them you've done your job. Love your children teach your children and give your all when your with them. Mom I love you.

giving confidence

What exactly are we teaching our daughters? I'm not saying we shouldn't teach them to care for themselves and look their best, that's a given. my six year old was in health class this year at school: She came home telling me all the foods that would make her fat and lazy, and then if she happened to eat some she'd put both hands on her nonexistent tummy and push it in saying i need to loss weight. Really! So what gives them the right to use wording like that? Shouldn't it be more like everything in moderation and get outside and play. Fat is one of the worst words we've ever allowed ourselves to teach our children. They become so scared of not being the pretty skinny girl on TV they wont eat the birthday cake at their friends party or they over do it feeling their being rebels. I love food, I want my girls to love food too.I want them to understand it, not just think it will make them large or small, this isn't like wonderland. Food can convey love but they neglect to teach that in health class. they tell you these foods make you fat, these foods make you skinny and if you don't exercise you'll be fat. Theres that word again. Fat its an ugly ugly word. I want to see my girls have a healthy love for food. I want them to enjoy playing hard, breaking a sweat. I don't want them to feel its a must, but more just a joy. I toke the girls to play tennis the other day, and as far as an actual game goes it was a disaster, but they loved it and keep asking to go back. My oldest was the only one to make it over the net and do so repeatedly. My middle girl would hit the net then run up and throw it over to me, and the entire time we all had to be running from a two year old with a racket. Yes it was exercise, but why have to tell them that, it was also fun , and a bonding experience for all of us. Why is it that when we're young we try to look older, when we're older we try to look younger, and all the time be no more then a size six. Why do we do this to ourselves, why do we do this to our daughters? Why do we not say enough is enough? I turn thirty in March and my ten year old told me that was middle aged. So does that mean at sixty i should roll over and give up because life is over. Its just insanity how poorly woman think of themselves, nothings ever good enough. We're all beautiful each and everyone of us. We need to teach our daughters joy for life, confidence, love, understanding, compassion (more then how to apply eyeliner to make us look twenty again). And most of all we need to show them all these things by being them, doing them. Teach them to exercise by playing with them ; teach them to eat well by cooking with them. The confidence that may be harder it may take more time, but we can be there to help them find it.My confidence took years to manifest, most of my life i felt like i was never enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough: It took me hitting bottom to see who i was, to see my own strength. I will tell my girls how strong, smart, and beautiful they are everyday in hopes they'll believe me.

motherhood

     I'm a mother of three little girls, but i wasn't always a mother. Even if my girls do think that i didn't exist before there births; I was once a young girl, a teen. I had hopes, dreams, expectations for my life. I had lovers, friends, and secrets. In all of those daydreams of how my life would be when i was older i never pictured bath time at 7:30, bedtime at 8:00, late night diaper runs. I never realized how much work would go into getting kids into a van without a fight for the right seat. Growing up i imagined myself running a coffee shop with weekends free to road trip where ever my whimsy took me. I love the life I've built but wonder sometimes where that other girl went, the one that knew all the answers had everything planned right down to the color of the coffee cups. I see other mothers, housewives, at the grocery stores arguing with their children over cereal brands and i wonder to myself what was she like before kids what did she dream of being. Do we all try to fit into this expected mold of  motherhood when we decide to stay home and raise the children? We become our mothers, who became their mothers, etc: Telling our kids not to do things we did. I tell my kids to eat their peas even though when i was their age i shoved them up my nose in protest. My husband tells the girls their not allowed to date till their married. Really?! We got married when i was 7 months pregnant with my second child. Is it maybe safer and less confusing if we're just completely honest with them and open to any question, or tell them all the same things that have been past down generation to generation. Teach them open honest love or rules and guidelines we ourselves couldn't go without braking? Like i said, I'm a mother of three little girls i wasn't born a mother, I have questions, worries, I'm not perfect. No matter how much we try, no matter what we try, we wont find out if we did it right at all till its our daughters turn to take up the motherhood reins.